I don't know how many of you actually read my blog. But if you do, and you don't want to hear me rant, then you can just stop reading at the end of this sentence. And for the people that are still reading right now ....prepare yourself right now for the most intense Sarah-rant of your life. I feel like it's time for some major blogging therapy.
For what ever reason, I've been struggling with self worth lately. It's weird and I feel awkward and depressing and emo-like but it's been happening and it's also been hard to get over. And I'm usually a pretty confident person, yet something just keeps tearing me down. But today I had a Tyra Banks moment. You know her campaign... "Kiss my fat ass". Well it was similar to that. I literally do not care anymore about what other people think about me. DO NOT. I'm not going to wonder what you think about. I'm not going to wonder if you think I'm great, or snobby, or moody, or angry, or depressing, or slutty, or I don't even know, and frankly I don't even care. If you think I'm great, then you'll treat me like you think I'm great. If you think I'm worth spending time with, you'll spend time with me. But I'm not going to handle the "I can't really tell what your thinking so I'm going to sit here and wonder what you're thinking" crap. I'm done wondering.
I also realized that I am totally worth it. Just like everyone else on this planet. If God had the audacity to place you on this earth, then I'm pretty sure He knew exactly what He was doing. I am not a mistake, I am good enough, and I am definitely worth someone's time. So I'm tired of feeling like I'm not good enough, because I am. I'm perfect in the eyes of the creator of every single thing on this ENTIRE freaking planet, so I'd have to be on crack to think otherwise.
Also, I have a few of the best people I've ever met as friends. Seriously. Julianne Stinson, Averi Harris, and Paige Criswell. I love you three ladies more than you will ever know. And I PRAISE God for sending you all to me. I love you with all my heart.
That felt wonderful.... thank goodness for blog rants.
Blog rants are awesome! Even if you don't care what we think.... We think you are the best thing since sliced bread AND peanut butter! ;-D
ReplyDeletewell you have one thing right...you are great and you are worth it. and i love you
ReplyDeleteand it was about this point in my college life that i had this same realization. you are totally an ulrich. BUT... make sure you dont come off as someone that doesnt care about people in general. you have to love them regardless, but you dont have to like them. you are realizing who you are sis and its so great to step back and watch you grow. and honestly i am lucky because (unlike momma, dad, and scott) i get to see it first hand.
ReplyDeleteyou are special sarah and i am glad you are finding this out on your own. i love you so much and its funny seeing the things that you go through that i did as well. THEREFORE. if you want advice, and listener, a family member, someone to scream at or cry to. you have my number. call me and we will go to peach wave. (real talk.)
again. love you sis and i am so glad we are together in this part of our lives :)
you da best!
That part about me not caring about what other people think...that came off a little strong. Of course I care about what you think, I'm just going to brush those haters off.... :) I love you all, thank you for being here. :)
ReplyDelete