M&D Shout out.

I am dedicating this blog to bragging about my parents. Because as strongly as I feel about them, I don't think they hear it enough. And I don't think they get the credit they deserve. 

Daddy.

The only think keeping us from being the exact same are our reproductive organs. And maybe a few physical features. But are personalities are almost identical. And that definitely has its pros and cons. And in high school, I was a rebellious teen.. and you were an exhausted parent that was probably tired of raising a teen and we butted heads FREQUENTLY. And by frequently, I mean daily. But as I grew older, I understood why you disciplined me differently from Robbie and Scott, and why you were so hard on me. Not only were you keeping me out of trouble, but you were keeping me out of trouble because you loved me. You cared about my successes and desired for me to learn from my failures. The more I realized this, the more we worked together on getting along. And then boom. I went to college. And I will tell you, you became someone I never expected you to be--- a softie. You're whipped from your daughter! I can tell now with the little things you do, like text me pictures of McChickens from McDonalds and talk about our Dr. Laura dates. The "I love you"'s increased drastically, and you always give me an extra hug before I leave for college. The ways you've expressed love to me during the course of my life are different, but the point I'm trying to get at is that you simply loved me. With all your heart. And I see that, I understand that, and I appreciate it more than you will ever know. I'm incredibly thankful you are not only a loving dad, but that you are a dad that's always been here. I love you, and I will always, ALWAYS be your little girl. Always.

Momma.

I think on a scale from one to ten, ten being the MOST opposite from each other, we are a solid 7. I definitely take more after dad's side, that's for sure, but there are times where I can definitely see you in the way I act. Like our INSANE love for any person under the age of 5. Or the way I laugh. Or even the things I say, and how I say them. One picture that made me laugh was that one Julie took of us in Mexico, where we were standing next to each other and we were kinda slouched over (from the overwhelming exhaustion from sawing wood like a BOSS) and we were standing the EXACT same way. But other than the few similar things, we have many opposite personality traits. I think this is why God gave me you as my mom. We balance each other out. I bet it was hard raising me because you probably had no idea how to handle a demon child, BUT neither you nor I are dead, so I think you did a decent job. :) But what matters is that you took our opposite qualities and worked with them. And you loved me with no end. You took delight in my joy, you hurt for me when I was in pain, and you shared sadness in my completely pointless petty school problems. Now that I have grown up a little bit, I respect you all the more for this. Despite the struggles we had while I was at home, you were, and will continue to be the perfect mom for me. I am so blessed to have a mom that I can be this close to.

My parents set one of the greatest examples of marriage I have literally ever seen in my 19 1/2 years of living. I have seen all different types of people, all different types of families. And I don't thank God enough for blessing me with my mom and dad.... I also don't know of any married couple besides my parents that can work together AND live together without killing each other. But it just seems like they fall in love more and more every day....You guys are my rock. I would definitely NOT be the same person at all if it weren't for the love and the guidance that you've shown me throughout the years. Even though your job of raising me is over, I hope you realize that it made a huge impact. Not only on me, but for my future family, and my walk with Christ. Also, my love for my parents cannot be contained to a simple blog post. If I could convey it any deeper, I would do it in a heart beat. But they don't have the technology for that, so I am going to call it a night. My eyes are drooping.

I love you with every fiber of my being, Mom and Dad.... I don't think I can ever thank you enough for who you are.

The Sarah rant.

I don't know how many of you actually read my blog. But if you do, and you don't want to hear me rant, then you can just stop reading at the end of this sentence. And for the people that are still reading right now ....prepare yourself right now for the most intense Sarah-rant of your life. I feel like it's time for some major blogging therapy.

For what ever reason, I've been struggling with self worth lately. It's weird and I feel awkward and depressing and emo-like but it's been happening and it's also been hard to get over. And I'm usually a pretty confident person, yet something just keeps tearing me down. But today I had a Tyra Banks moment. You know her campaign... "Kiss my fat ass". Well it was similar to that. I literally do not care anymore about what other people think about me. DO NOT. I'm not going to wonder what you think about. I'm not going to wonder if you think I'm great, or snobby, or moody, or angry, or depressing, or slutty, or I don't even know, and frankly I don't even care. If you think I'm great, then you'll treat me like you think I'm great. If you think I'm worth spending time with, you'll spend time with me. But I'm not going to handle the "I can't really tell what your thinking so I'm going to sit here and wonder what you're thinking" crap. I'm done wondering.

I also realized that I am totally worth it. Just like everyone else on this planet. If God had the audacity to place you on this earth, then I'm pretty sure He knew exactly what He was doing. I am not a mistake, I am good enough, and I am definitely worth someone's time. So I'm tired of feeling like I'm not good enough, because I am. I'm perfect in the eyes of the creator of every single thing on this ENTIRE freaking planet, so I'd have to be on crack to think otherwise.

Also, I have a few of the best people I've ever met as friends. Seriously. Julianne Stinson, Averi Harris, and Paige Criswell. I love you three ladies more than you will ever know. And I PRAISE God for sending you all to me. I love you with all my heart.

That felt wonderful.... thank goodness for blog rants.

I'm not feeling so great today.

Happy Wednesday, everyone.

Spring Break was fantastic. One of the best Spring Breaks I've ever had...and for several reasons. I love my youth group, I LOVE building houses, and I loved laughing at drunk people stumbling on themselves at the beach, but the absolute highlight of this trip was not only giving the keys to the family of the house we built for this year, but visiting the family of the house we built LAST year. We didn't even think they would remember us, but when we pulled up in our vans...the kids came SPRINTING to us. I was able to hold back some tears then, but as we walked inside the house, I see our team picture-framed- hanging on the wall of the kids room. At that point, I couldn't hold back the tears. All the nails I hammered, all the boards I cut, all the concrete I poured and mixed for literally HOURS paid off right then and there. That's when I was reassured that what I've done for the past 6 Spring Breaks is completely and totally worth it.

    




To the top is a picture of me and two of the kids in 2010. To the bottom is a picture of all of us a year later. AND...I just noticed that in the 2010 picture, we are building the wall that we are sitting in front of in the 2011 picture... wow.


Recently it's been really, REALLY hard for me to trust people. Even people that are really close to me. And I don't know what it is, but it's a scary feeling. Only being able to trust yourself....but I can't even do that sometimes. But I think it's causing me to rely on God more. It's just too bad He's not tangible...ya know? I don't know. Just a thought.

I'm also being super impatient right now, and I need to stop it. Good things come to those who wait...

I really need to get NSYNC Christmas off of my itunes. It's only good at Christmas time.

I watched that cartoon movie called Tangled....and I cried. It was SUCH a cute movie. I also realized that I have a crush on a cartoon character. Pathetic? No.. he's the perfect man. Minus him not being real and all... okay it is pathetic. Judge me.

Thanks Jew for cleaning the room.... but I feel bad. I mean I wanted to fail room check today because I didn't wanna clean, but I guess that bothered you....?

I watched the Friday music video by Rebecca Black....my thoughts? "Friday, Friday, Shove-an-ice-pick-in-my-eye-day".

I'm in a kinda crappy mood right now. I'm gonna take a nap....college kid LIFE.

As Told by a Ginger: Spring Sing Edition.

Well my life has finally returned to me, our last Spring Sing show was Saturday night. I can't say I know what a hangover feels like, but on Sunday morning I believe I had a Spring Sing hangover. I felt like I had thrown up all the lyrics I could, smiled as much as my mouth would allow, and danced WAY beyond my limit. I literally just laid on my bed for hours looking at the ceiling. But honestly, I wouldn't trade my experience in Spring Sing for anything. Performing on stage is something I believe God gave me the ability to do, and I will utilize any chance I get. And this....this was just too fun to pass up.

Here's one of my many SS faces. Now I know what you're thinking...I mean it's pretty hard to get any more cute and cuddly than that face right there. But believe me when I say it can be done. But let's be real here... I certainly won't be allowed with in a 200 foot radius of any school with this picture. 

For those of you that don't know my brother, he is the cop in the gray and black uniform with the gargantuous eyes. I don't even think gargantuous is a word, but no real words could describe this kid's SS face. I will admit it for all of you to read, I am defeated. Defeated by Robbie's SS face. I thought I had a chance, but I don't think I even came close. I knew for a fact that I couldn't compete when he came up to me on Friday and told me he had 12 more SS faces that he came up with. At that point, I knew I was automatically screwed. So there you go Robbie, you win. Just like you won at everything throughout our entire childhood... just kidding. But really.

After the performance on Friday, I went to OnCue with Jew, and naturally we were in full costume. So the guy at the register decides to sit there and talk to us about his connections with the now alcoholic Steve (I can't blame Steve though, I mean I'd be an alcoholic too if I was the only human that lived in a world consisting only of inanimate cartoon objects that helped you solve clues to find even MORE inanimate cartoon objects). Apparently the OnCue guy was engaged to Steve's niece. Which was actually pretty cool, until the OnCue guy started talking about how Steve was the lead singer of the band called Flaming Lips (....really?) which leads to his present day heavy drinking. I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD. Maybe my parents told me he was dead so I wouldn't know about his alcohol problems. I mean they lied to me about Santa, it's completely logical. I'm not bitter or anything though...................

Oh, and you will probably be shocked to find out how much makeup I have put on in the past week for  SS. I would venture to say I put on a good pound of makeup for every show. And my hair now hates me for the amount of heat I applied to it... so I'm going on a no makeup streak. You all will be seeing a little to no maintenance Sarah for the rest of the week. And then I will continue my no maintenance Sarah in MEXICO (woop woop) while building houses, so that when I come back...I might actually want to look decent. Who knows. At this point, I am repulsed by the idea of spending more than 15 minutes getting ready.

Anyways. I have a midterm paper that I am putting off...and it won't write itself. Although, I really wish it would. I'm still recovering from my SS hangover.

Peace and Bless-ings, Peace and Bless-ings.